Parenting with Character

So, I'm reading a book by Andy Stanley, and his definition of character is as follows (actually, my interpretation of his definition):

"Doing what is right, according to GOD, without worry/concern/consideration of personal cost."

Obviously, this definition of character can be applied to marriage, friendships, career stuff, a whole list of things.

But, today, I need this definition to guide my parenting.

Let's just be honest . . . parenting is hard, hard work.

Jordan is REALLY testing his limits lately, growing in his desire for independence, and showing his aggressive side more and more . . . ALL WHICH IS VERY NORMAL for a 2 1/2 year old boy.

. . . and all of which is EXHAUSTING for parents.

For example, when told "no" or any form of "you cannot have it your way right now," Jordan's immediate response is to express his frustration with either throwing a large item (usually directly at someone) or arching his back and screaming at the top of his lungs, while stomping his feet. He has even attempted to hit (whoever may be in his path) as well.

Honestly. It's super embarrassing (if we are in public) and it's super annoying if we are at home.

With consistent discipline, it is also super frustrating that his behavior seems to be getting worse . . . not necessarily better. So, questions arise, such as, "Is this discipline even working?" "Am I completely missing the mark as a parent altogether?" "Does Jordan have 'deeper' issues that are causing such anger/frustration/aggression?"

Once again . . . parenting is just plain hard.

But, here's the point.

The RIGHT thing to do, according to God, despite personal cost, is to LOVE Jordan and model for him patience, kindness, truth, and self-control.

So, for example, when Jordan acts out (as described previously) my immediate reaction WANTS to be to retaliate in some way . . . maybe by raising my voice, maybe by spanking him without properly warning and talking to him about it, maybe even by just simply walking away from him and locking myself in my room. :)

BUT . . . . the RIGHT thing to do is . . .

Calmly, consistently, firmly discipline him, with LOVE and TRUTH as my guide . . .

And then move on.

"Love keeps no record of wrongs."

So, yes, he may have just totally embarrassed me in public . . .

Or he may have just thrown a very large toy in my face and left a lovely mark . . .

BUT . . .

"Love keeps no record of wrongs."

Deal with the misbehavior, and move on to loving him.

The. End.