I feel like I'm reading the Bible for the very first time

I just HAVE to share this. I don't even know if anyone will actually read this because I'm not including any pictures of my sweet boy. :) But, before the day goes any further and life gets busy, I really want to get this down "on paper" so I don't forget.

A few weeks ago, in our Esther study, I was BLOWN away with God's perfect timing. Mordecai is rewarded for his faithfulness to the King (Mordecai had told the King of a plot that was being planned to kill him) at just the right time. In other words, Mordecai wasn't rewarded IMMEDIATELY for his faithfulness--in fact, his "good deed" was forgotten for a long time. Instead, Mordecai's faithfulness to the King was remembered AT JUST THE RIGHT TIME, so that the Jews were given mercy from Haman's evil plot to destroy them all.

In other words . . . the timing of Mordecai's reward was not just about Mordecai . . . it was about God's big picture . . . his rescue of his people.

I'm sure it was hard for Mordecai to understand at the time of his "good deed" why he was not being rewarded THEN. But, I wonder if, when he was rewarded (some time later) he didn't say out loud, "Oh! That's why my reward had to wait!!!"

Interesting.

Even more interesting, is that it happened again TODAY! This morning, I was reading through the story of Joseph again (you know, the one where his brothers beat him up, throw him in a well, and then sell him . . . what a family!). The story continues with a whole lot of "not now's" for Joseph. He interprets dreams for the King's servants and should be rewarded IMMEDIATELY, but instead, his "good deed" is forgotten and he spends even MORE time in prison and as a slave! It isn't until several years later that Pharoah needs his dreams interpreted that Joseph is finally remembered as one who can do such a thing.

Come to find out, as you read the rest of the story, Josephs' "reward" came at the exact right time . . . leading to his final reconciliation with his brothers! Once again, his reward was not just about him . . . it was about God's big plan to reconcile a family (and save a country from famine caused by drought).

So....

Why write all of this down, you ask?

Well, I don't know about you, but there have been several times in my life where I have felt forgotten. Prayers are seemingly unanswered, even bouncing off the walls of God's Presence (at least that's what it has felt like at times). My "reward" for being faithful to God has sometimes felt unmet (I know this sounds very prideful, but I'm just being honest). One example of this was when I was really struggling with why we were not passing court in Ethiopia . . . again . . . and again . . . and again. I even remember saying out loud, "If God is FOR ORPHANS, and we are being faithful to his calling to care for orphans, WHY IS THIS NOT WORKING???" (Once again, thank you, Jesus, for your sweet mercies toward me during this time of disobedience in trusting you.)

However, come to find out we passed court at the EXACT RIGHT TIME for lots of different reasons, one being we were still able to attend Nate's only brother's wedding the night before leaving for Ethiopia! If we had passed court any earlier, we would have traveled a couple weeks earlier and not been able to be at his wedding! Crazy!

So.... all that to say, I wanted to write this down to remind me that GOD'S TIMING IS PERFECT. I wanted to have a reminder that IT'S NOT ABOUT ME; IT'S ABOUT GOD'S BIG PICTURE OF REDEMPTION AND LOVE. I wanted to have a reminder that I CAN TRUST GOD NO MATTER WHAT, EVEN WHEN I CAN'T UNDERSTAND THE NOW.

I really hope this has been an encouragement to you, if you are still reading. :)

I know I will need to re-read this post several times over the next year as we start adoption #2!

Love you all!